It's that time of the year again. And yes this is another post about New Years Resolutions - you can skip over it if you like, I'm not going to take offence. The majority of the reason I'm posting it is for acountability to myself.
Pack in the plastic
Here's a quick story...before Christmas I hesitantly bought one of Lush's shampoo bars. I couldn't possibly tell you which one, it's blue and smells kind of citrusy (logic?). But anyway, I was reluctant. It cost about £7 compared to the usual £2 I'd spend on the bottle, but I was curious. Well let me tell you it was revolutionary. 3 weeks later and I don't think the bar has shrunk recognisably (I'd be through a whole bottle of shampoo by now), it's super transportable, and my hair feels better than it ever has done before. Oh and it's cruelty free and plastic free. Now I'm pretty much of the belief that we've gone to far in terms of global warming, but there's definitely something that can be done about waste. And if forward-planning and researching where I buy my products makes me feel like I'm doing my bit, why not?
Let God in
...and find a healthy relationship with prayer. I know that this one is going to be difficult, because it's something I've never had. I don't do things by halves, I'm an all-or-nothing kind of girl, but all can be dangerous and unhealthy. It's going to take time, committment and faith. Every single day. But it is going to be worth it. And I guess a subcomponent of that comes in to the next one
Share more
Not like physical things. Like life. And the things you don't want to talk about because they're big and scary. And they mean asking for help. And the things you don't want to talk about because they're exciting, new and something you're proud of. Because then you feel self-centered. You're friends want to share the good, the bad and everything in between you numpty
Give up on the quest for perfection
That doesn't mean settle for the easy option, or let good opportunities pass you by because it might be hard work.
It means don't allow your fear of failing at something stop you even trying. It means stop obsessing over perfect grades, making sure your runs are all perfect distances, eating perfect meals, stressing over having perfect attendance and getting to that perfect weight.
It means submitting the essay when it's done, not after 64 read throughs right up to the minute it was due in.
Most important it means accept yourself and your achievements because (spoiler-alert) perfect isn't achievable
Recognise my limits
On paper it's easy. I can't do everything. Sometimes you have to stop, like to come up for air and breathe. Or sleep. At the moment that's definitely appropriate. So put boundaries in. Don't let helping others come at a cost that you can't easily replenish, because there will be another time
Keep doing the things that keep me well
Make time to run. I'll feel better for it afterwards. And if I think I can't because I might step on a pavement crack and then everyone I care about might die (logic fails to prevail again), then run through mud, because I'll come back stronger to fight it next time. Practice my instruments, because I enjoy it and feel bettew for it. Keep up the writing and journalling. Same reasons.
Read because I like to read
Screw the dyslexia and Irlen syndrome. It might take me longer than other people, and a green screen/overlay might make it a lot easier for me. I need to stop caring about what others think. If I want to sit and read on a train, because whatever else is there to do on a train, then I need to pull out my book, and my little piece of plastic delivered from Emerald City and care only about the journey the author is taking me on.
Stop shying away from the camera
I have so many memories of avoiding photos. And it's kinda sad, because I have so many great memories, and whilst photos aren't the be all and end all of a memory, it's nice to have something to look back on when you're struggling to remember all of the really good times
Control control
I like control. I like to be in control. I like to know what's going on. And do you know what, I'm also good at control. What I need to be better at is letting others have some of the control, and recognising what never even was mine to have control over
Now someone please give me a poke when you see me breaking one of these please!
Keep smiling,
K x
