Starting over

New year doesn't have to be the only time of year when you decide that you need to make a change. That's why I'm not a fan of New Year's resolutions and all of that rubbish. If there's something you're not happy with you want to change it now! You don't need to wait until January the 1st to make that change. 

So we're coming towards the end of February now, and for me, this is the time for changes to be made. Some of these have already started but one thing I can promise is that this isn't a 'New Me' sort of thing. I'm just learning to deal with a few things in my life that I certainly wasn't mentally or physically well enough to deal with earlier this year. I'm not going to lie and pretend it'll be all smooth-running and easy. Because it won't be. I've tried before and conditions just weren't right for this to happen. But now, with a bit more motivation and a great support system for help, I'm confident that it is the right time!

So I guess that my message to you is that if there's something in your life that you want to change, it's not too late to do it! And it is never too late to start over. Although sometimes it may be a little early, you'll never know if you don't try!

Keep smiling,

Kathryn x

Seventeen things I learnt while I was 17

So it's pretty close to my birthday now and I've been spending a little bit of time thinking about the things I've done and learnt over the past year. It's quite scary that I'm going to be eighteen in just a couple of days - an adult! But nothing will change really. I'm still me and I'm not going to suddenly mature or become and less crazy. I just thought it would be a good idea to write about what I've learnt from my mistakes so that you don't make them too!

1. It doesn't matter how long you spend apart, your true friends will make it seem like you've always been together

2. Sometimes being selfish isn't really a bad thing. At times you need to take a break; have a rest and take some time for yourself.

3. When it seems that everything around you is changing it doesn't mean that you have to too. It's okay to hold on to who you are now for a bit longer because there'll be something else that isn't changing 

4. You are allowed to say no. I often take on too much and I know that this will never change; especially not overnight. I love helping other people and take on huge numbers of tasks to do this but saying no doesn't make you a bad person

5. You're an average of the five people you spend the most time with. I'm mostly happy with mine, are you? 

6. I'm an INFJ, the rarest personality type apparently. But reading up on it explains a lot.

7. I really, really love maths. But not odd numbers, and 7 is an odd number. Obviously I already knew that 7 is an odd number. Okay, shut up Kathryn.

8. There's always someone in the world in worse circumstances than you. But that does not belittle your problems or make them unimportant. There might be over 7billion people in the world, but you are a very important one of them

9. The average high school kid nowadays has the same level of anxiety as a psychiatric patient from the 1950s. Now you try and tell me that mental illness is all made up, or the sufferer is to blame!

10. When people ask you difficult questions be honest. They wouldn't have asked if they didn't care or want to know the answer.

11. Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. Obviously a useful one for a pub quiz. But who are we to tell the aliens on Venus that their planet spins the wrong way. Or their clocks do.

12. You can be a completely different person when you're with different people. That doesn't make you fake or a pretender, different people just bring out your different characteristics and the different sides to your personality.

13. You can't cry in space because there's no gravity so doing it here is okay. Blame gravity.

14. Colouring is quite honestly one of the most relaxing things I've ever done

15. Don't worry about letting other people down, because if you do you'll just let yourself down

16. Asking for help isn't admitting weakness; it shows true strength that you're willing to admit that you are struggling and to look for assistance 

17. There is always hope, even when you think you've hit rock bottom. You know that the only way is up and things will get better and it doesn't matter how good yesterday was, today can be better! That's how I know that the next twelve months will bring me both awful times and fantastic ones. But I'll fight my way through the tough times just to be able to  reach the good ones!

Keep sming,

Kathryn x

Back around...

So here I am! I know I've been absent for a short while so I'm sorry everyone. I've had a lot going in my life and many things to deal with and juggling it all with two/three jobs, college work, being in and volunteering for a swimming club etc has been a little bit difficult. Never mind finding time to remain sane too! But that's all getting worked on now so all's good. A work in progress and all of that. But that leaves me in a muddle, I am back around and will be posting from time to time but I make no promises about how much because, quite simply, I can't.

But I'm not the only thing that's back around...

At the moment there are people in my life that I never thought would end up back in my life. And I am so thrilled that some of them are. But some of them it would be if they'd remained out of it. In the nicest way possible, obviously. They bring back awful memories, and others still treating me the way they did when I pushed them away so maybe keeping that sort of person at arms length is the best way forward.

And what else is back around? My life. I've literally come full circle, back to the place I was in this time last year. At first I thought that was an awful thing, but it doesn't have to be. I have a second opportunity to fix the things I didn't last year and I really am thankful for the opportunity to do just that. I know it's going to be hard, but hopefully with all of the help I'm getting I won't be going full circle back to the start again. I guess it's true what they say; what goes around does come back around.

Keep smiling,

Kathryn x