Strength

I used to think that strength was something largely physical; the ability to push harder, throw further, or lift heavier. Strength was the voice that told me to carry on at the end of a run for one mile more. Just one mile. That would inevitably turn into two. Into four. Into eight. Strength whilst enduring difficult situations was the ability to build an invisible wall, brick by brick, to prevent the problems from leaking out and into anyone else's lives. When hope and faith were limited, and dreams and ambitions felt unreachable, I believed strength was what taught me to move on quickly. After all, I wasn't worthy of these dreams anyway, was I?

There wasn't a definitive day that my perspective switched but, if there had been, it wouldn't have been all that long aygo. Things don't happen overnight. My change in perspective was not like the flick of a switch; it was a series of events carved carefully into my story. A collection of people, lifelong friends, who each helped me to learn more about myself through meaningful relationships. Forever indebted by the strength they helped me find, but forever knowing that strength is built in two directions, but individual ways.

I learnt that strength is letting people close enough to help you when you're struggling, and supporting those around you when they need it too. It is allowing yourself to feel emotions that are difficult to feel, and accepting the truth that these are part of everyone's life in one way or another. Strength is found in trusting the path you are on, in not abandoning dreams at the first mound of adversity and through re-shaping your path with new factors in your life. 

Shockingly enough, strength was never the voice that dragged me through the extra miles. Or the voice that told me I would be worthless if I didn't spend an extra hour in the gym. It was the voice that told me to stop midway through a run as I reach the top of a hill - stop and appreciate the view. It's a measure of how well we handle the challenges that life throws at us. It's smiling through the chaos, knowing that it's taking you on the journey that you are meant to be on. 

Strength never was unspeakable pain, isolation and loneliness. It is found with time and answered prayers; the opportunity to rebuild something that never really had been destroyed

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Hope

Sat with my notes scattered slightly carelessly across the table top; my laptop open, teasing me with the blank screen. I know that I'm supposed to be good at this, and I am, in theory. But that clinical-white blank page brings a cripling fear of making a mistake, and I freeze.

My mind wanders to a far-away place, a mountainside and all the freedom it brings. The colourful landscapes and the harmonies of nature. The sky is blue and clear, poles apart from my current state of mind. And then I remember. I remember that the world is so much bigger than this assignment. The world is so much bigger than me. Than university. Than education. The world is a beautiful page in someone's sketchbook, a narrative etched carefully onto a canvas of air.

I can see this beauty, but I can't feel it; it's like my veersion of real and everyone else's version of real are identical copies of the same page. Except they're carved in to a different secion of air and they never can quite align. I'm here, but I'm not actually here. I know I will be, it's just going to take time.

Still frozen. Eyes glued to the screen. Scared to write the first words. Scared of making the first mistake. Because once there's one mistake, what if it leaks mistake and wrongness into the rest of the words? What if they become contaminated by mistakes, plagued by fear?

An irrational fear of failure that, ironically, is more likely to lead to failure. But once recognised as such becomes even more infuriatingly difficult to control. I wish I could call it something more poetic, but it's not procrastination or perfectionism. I don't want everything to be perfect, I just fear the opposite too much to let the quirky imperfections shine through. An element of a proocess taking shape, a process that sometimes can't happen at all.

Still frozen. But someone hands me a lighted match, and lights an internal candle. A spark of hope; the power to thaw that panic. Someone hands a lighted match, and I realise that someone came from within me.


Keep smiling,
Kathryn

Summer Reading: All the Bright Places review

One of my absolute favourite parts of summertime is spending copious amounts of time reading; and I mean everything, books, magazines, journals, blogs and articals. Absolutely anything. Despite rationally knowing its good to take a break from studying, I find it so hard during the term time to sit down and focus on reading for pleasure. There's always a tiny little part of me that thinks I should be doing something more 'productive' - whatever that is!

Anyway, I tend to resolve to read more during the summer (as you'll know if you've been with me for a while) but I had exams to sit last summer due to illness during the official examination period. This year, however, I have been delivered the prospect of a fabulous almost care-free summer with plenty of free time and endeavor to spend a lot more time reading so I'm keen to share the highs and the lows of it with you.

The first of my big summer reads was All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven and, having seen a handful of reviews, I had great expectations built up about this book. The novel tells the story of two contrasting characters Violet and Finch, who meet unexpectedly meet on top of their school bell tower with both characters contemplating suicide. We travel with these characters on a journey involving several small road trips as well as their own individual more abstract journeys: Violet and her journey through grief, and Finch's journey through mental illness.

All The Bright Places is gripping from the get-go and I was unable to put the novel down from start to end. I was constantly curious to know what would happen next and shell-shocked to find myself shed a few tears (quite a sight on a sunbed I believe) in the final chapters.


I found that the novel portrayed some important and thought-provoking messages including the idea that you can love someone unconditionally, but you still can't always save them. It also addressed the issue of mental health in a way that is (in my experience) understandable and realistic.

On top of this, I read All the Bright Places whilst on a family holiday and immediately after finishing it, I recommended it to my younger sister who really doesn't enjoy reading. She managed to get through the book in a record-breaking 6 hour time period and was absolutely hooked, then decided she really enjoys reading after all. So thank you Jennifer Niven.

I'll be back soon with some more reviews and some general chat, but in the meantime, keep smiling :)

Kathryn x

Trains

I'm on a train. Story of my life. I used to really really hate train journeys but I guess I've warmed to them a little. 

I enjoy people-watching at the platform cafes, and feeling as though you're being productive enough to rest for a few hours because you know that you're heading in the right direction. And that's enough for now, right? 

For journeys I take regularly, I like the part of the journey that I can guarantee I will have signal for because it gives me time to call a friend that I've not spoken to for a while. And as for the rest of the free time, being creative, being creative is always lots of good fun. I read and I write and I draw. And sometimes, just sometimes I'll do a little bit of work. But only ever enough to cross a couple of items off that day’s to-do list before reverting back to sleep or creativity. 

But the best sort of train journey is a train journey to the unknown. A train journey to a place that you've never been before or to start a new adventure. Because travelling has given to the ability to open new doors and the possibilities are endless.

Keep smiling, 
Kathryn x

I'm going to Disney!!!

Well I've just realised how hopeless I've been with regular updates recently so I'm working on something to sort that out. And right now I'm super busy and sort of uninspired to produce something new so thought I'd go through my draft posts to see if I had anything that I felt I was in the right mindset to elaborate on. But I didn't. What I did find was a blog post I drafted in January that literally sums up how I am exactly where I am right now and I thought that was pretty ironic. I'm not ready to share this with you or explain what I'm up to for the time being, there's so many uncertainties, ifs and buts; by the end of August I'll probably be able to explain the mess that's going on in my life but until then, thank you all for your patience. And here's a little more of an exciting blog post for you...

So if you know me in real life, you probably know that I'm a little bit of a Disney-obsessed nutter. And that's no exaggeration. It often comes as a little bit of a shock to people that I haven't actually been to any of the Disney Parks so this summer that will be changing. I'm so very excited to be going to Disney World Florida for my first trip to America but I'm clueless - I haven't a clue what any of the best bits are and would love to know which parts you all recommend. So comment away!!

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Just because

Sat on my bed in what can only be described as a not-brilliant mood (kind of upset, kind of annoyed), I've spent a lot of time deliberating over whether or not I should actually write this post because I'm not the sort of person who enjoys going off on a rant. I promise I'm going to keep it as far away from that as I possibly can but I do have some annoyances to express.

We seem to live in a world where we need to justify every decision we make to just about anyone who wants to hear it and I just don't think that's right.

People are nosey, I get it. But when 'I'm sorry but this makes me feel uncomfortable' needs to be replaced with 'I'm sorry but this makes me feel uncomfortable because a long time ago I had this experience where.....' surely it becomes a violation of privacy. And if one day you're not feeling 100% yourself, you have to come up with a full justification because you're just tired/had an argument with someone close/can't be fully cheery every second of every day, then maybe you're just not spending your time with the right people.

But do you know what's even worse? When you have to justify how you react to certain situations. When someone treats you badly and you have to explain exactly which parts of your mistreatment made you feel a little bit rubbish. I'm really sorry, but maybe re-living those moments is just like pushing the knife further in.

And even worse than that, when you give a perfectly good justification but the person quizzing you simply can't take your answer as they've got preconceived ideas that your answers simply don't live up to. Especially when these brilliant preconceived ideas are in support of the person doing you wrong. Yes, I simply love making lies up, it's my favourite hobby. Just for future reference, that's sarcasm. I cannot lie for toffee; the only lie I tell semi-convincingly (well, that's debatable) is 'I'm fine' on occasions when I may not be.

And don't get me wrong, I really appreciate people asking slightly intrusive questions if they have genuine concerns AND want to help but if it's just plain nosiness and gossiping, then they really need to start appreciating your privacy.

From a young age, children are taught to accept 'just because' as an answer to life's tougher questions, so at which point was it that this stopped?

Sorry for the slightly ranty post, I can assure you that I'll back to my normal bubbly self by the time I next post but as I'm sure you've gathered, I'm just not feeling quite 100% right now. No justification needed.

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

I'm a free elf

I had my last exam of first year yesterday and that in itself is absolutely terrifying. I'm a third/quarter of the way through my degree depending on which course I pick and the year has absolutely flown by. It's been the best year of my life to date and a pretty big adventure.

I've spent the last few weeks pretty isolated in a horrible little bubble of stress, panic and revision but the end of exams puts an end to this too! I feel like a house elf who's just been given a sock - I'm a free elf! The term isn't over for another 4 weeks and I've got some very exciting stuff planned. Basically I get bored of things like Netflix way too easily and wanted to keep myself very busy. So keep a look out for more blog posts, and other exciting things coming your way shortly.

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Liebster award

I didn't really think that a blog award was something I'd ever be nominated for but guess what, it happened!! 

Firstly, I'm going to thank the lovely Megan (http://megangoodier.blogspot.co.uk) for nominating me! We both started blogging at almost exactly the same time and we've been reading each others blogs from the start. She really is brilliant and I think you should all go and check her out!
Now for the questions...

1. What's the inspiration behind the name of your blog?
I've always enjoyed writing, but not being told what to write so I'd spent a lot of time thinking about starting a log. One day I was sat down thinking 'Imagine how great it would be to have a space of my own to just write. Imagine that Kathryn. ImagineKathryn. BINGO!' And I never looked back.

2. If you could be one of the Seven Dwarfs, which one would you be and why?
Happy because how fab would it be to be happy all of the time, or Dopey because I have my dopey moments. Fun fact, did you know that all of the dwarfs have the same eyebrows except for Happy

3. Twitter or Instagram?
Instagram, always. I've never been a fan of Twitter but got it recently purely for JCR banter at university and, for me, that is it's only use.

4. Who is your favourite music artist/band?
I have such a varied taste in music and it makes this really difficult to answer, but right now I'm really enjoying TwentyOnePilots

5. Describe yourself using only 3 words
Altruistic, organised and good-crazy

6. If you could have a dinner party with three celebrity guests (dead or alive) who would you choose?
The Mad-Hatter, and if that couldn't be done, Johnny Depp. Elizabeth Blackwell, she was the first female doctor and Marie Curie

7. If you could travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Everyone knows I love travelling, everywhere and anywhere but somewhere I've not been before. I'd be very keen to visit Australia, New Zealand or to tour Asia. America would definitely have been top of the list until we booked our summer holiday

8. What is your favourite film?
It varies from time to time but right now I'd have to choose Lilo and Stitch. It's definitely my favourite for revision procrastination

9. Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?
Golly, I'll be 29. I'll (hopefully) have a degree, will probably have seen a lot more of the world through travelling, I'll definitely have a job and hopefully it will be one I enjoy. It's scary

10. Name three of your favourite blogs to read
Easy.
My favourite Nutmeg http://megangoodier.blogspot.co.uk/
Amelia and Grace http://www.mandevillesisters.com/
Carrie Hope Fletcher http://carriehopefletcher.com/

Hope you've learned some new things about me!


Questions for my Nominees
1. Talk about the moment you decided to create a blog. Why did you decide to do it?
2. Quiet night in with a few friends or loud night out with lots of friends?
3. What is your favourite Disney film?
4. Do you have a place that brings back childhood memories?
5. What are you looking forward to most about summer?
6. What is the most challenging thing that you've ever done?
7. What was your first job and did you enjoy it?
8. You've got one day of freedom. No costs for travelling. Where would you go, with who and what would you do?
9. Would you ever start a YouTube channel
10. What is your favourite sport

The Rules:
Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.
(Copy and paste the Liebster Award badge to your post)
-Nominate up to 10 new bloggers
-Answer the 10 questions the person who nominated you asked you
-Notify the bloggers you have nominated by leaving them a comment on their blog
-Create 10 new questions to ask the bloggers you nominate…

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Stressed...sorry

I'm afraid that there's not going to be any prizes for guessing the content of this post. It's going to be a little apology...

I've done that thing again. That one where I agree to a little bit too much, and I don't quite have enough time to do it all, and then the stress of exams just gets on top of me a little bit. So here I am, still working, with an exec report to write and revision to do at gone-midnight knowing that I have to be up by 6am to coach a rowing outing. Which is all fine, because things always work out the way that they're meant to in the end. But for now, I do have to be a lot more careful and aware of my time.

I'm still here to reply to comments, and I'm still working on a lot of content but that content is going to take a little while to appear because exams are only temporary but they have a lasting effect and that's where I need to focus all of my energy right now. In other news, I have a super exciting summer planned and can't wait to be free from all of this stress to share it all with you!

I hope you're all well and understand why I'm not here right now. I am sorry. I will definitely be back soon and in the meantime...

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Why I'm not on a gap year

If you know me, you probably know that I thrive on adventures and new experiences. I love to explore new places and see things I've never seen before. It then comes as a bit of a shock to people that I haven't taken a gap year. And that's quite understandable because I'd love to spend a year travelling and I'm pretty sure that I come across that way to others. So I thought I'd talk about my reasons for not taking a gap year, and just general travelling for a little while...

I've always know that I wanted to go to university to gain qualifications and life experience, to learn new things, and to have as good a chance as possible for my future. I was also pretty sure I wanted to study maths (whether or not that still stands is a different matter) and the very well respected universities that I was aiming for often overlook applicants for maths that take a year out due to a break in studying so that was also a major influencing factor. And this has worked out to be a good thing as my university offer to part fund travelling as part of personal development. Also, I'm not sure I was mentally ready to be in such unfamiliar surroundings and moving out has provided me with the confidence as well as helping me to gain skills that I couldn't at home.

Money. Do I really have to explain this? Being alive costs money, university costs money and the student loan doesn't cover very much for me. Not least, travelling costs money too, especially if I'm going to make the most of it. Leaving travelling for a few years means that I'll be able to have a couple of summers cramming in the hours at work for a more worthwhile trip.

When I went to Ghana, there were things I saw that were upsetting, things that I wanted to change. 

I saw children being beaten for tripping on uneven ground. I saw male teenagers with additional needs in Minnie Mouse shorts saturated in wee and staff that didn't care about it. I saw babies crying in cots because they didn't receive any attention; then when I picked on up to comfort her I was shouted at by the matron for showing care and compassion. 

I don't have to power or resources yet to do these things, returning now I wouldn't have the skills to make a lasting difference; only to make a difference while I'm there. So I've done research into educating the staff on health and social care, I'm trying to collect together books and equipment to teach them about various special needs. But I don't still don't think I have everything ready to do this. I want to gain experience and to take that experience to have the ability to make a larger difference to the world. 

So I've not written off travelling, in fact, quite the opposite. It's on my list of things I want to achieve in the next five years, (and yes, I am one of those control freaks with lists about lists). But for now, I'm gaining experience and saving up so that I can make the adventure as special and worthwhile as possible. 

Keep smiling,

Kathryn x

Things that make me happy: part 2

A while ago, I wrote a blog post called ‘Things that make me happy’ and I really enjoyed sitting down and thinking about exactly that. But the list I wrote then wasn’t exhaustive and I thought it would be nice to extend that list and write a part 2, because it’s important to think about the things you really enjoy doing yourself and making time to include these in your busy scheduele.

                Cute coffee dates with friends                                         Personal achievements

                                                                     New challenges

                               Travelling                                                                Long days    

                    

Blue and yellow (Prize for anyone that guesses the reason for this correctly down below)

                 Skyping long-distance friends                                Making other people happy

                                                           Late night herbal tea chats              

                              A handwritten letter                                                Scrapbooking

I’m pretty sure there’ll be a follow up to this post at some point, but in the meantime, I’d love to hear what’s on your list.

Keep smiling,

-Kathryn x

The Music Tag

Hello Everyone!

I wrote this post a while ago, sort of like back in September, and forgot to upload it. Please don't hate me 🙈

It seems I've been tagged by my friend Meg (http://megangoodier.blogspot.co.uk/) to do the 'Music Tag'. I was immediately interested in doing this because I really do enjoy my music but have quite a strange and varied taste. Just like Meg did, I'm going to (try) to link all of the songs I talk about so that you can at least give them a go before you judge me...

1) The Last Song You Listened To

The last song I listened too was 'All Again' by Ella Henderson. I've been spending way too much time on trains this week listening to music and wanted a change so stuck her album on. And I think, after Hard Work, this is my favourite on her album.

 

2) Last Song You Purchased

My last purchase was on iTunes but it was actually an album. My main motivation for getting the album was the song 'Fire and Gasoline' by Sia.

 

3) Song You Discovered on YouTube

So you're not going to believe this one but you know the song 'Fight Song'? I first discovered that on YouTube before Taylor Swift got her hands on it. Not that I'm complaining. I think I was linked there from one of Emma Blackery's videos. Other songs discovered on YouTube include 'The Way That We Were' by Carrie Fletcher and 'Everything Is Ending' by Chameleon Circuit.

 

4) Favourite Song from a Musical

So many musicals and so many songs. Choosing one is gonning to kill me. It changes frequently but at the moment either 'There's a fine, fine line' from AvenueQ or 'Quiet' from Matilda 

 

5) Favourite Band

So this often surprises people but I do have quite a few favourite bands. The 1975 are one of them but my favourite has to be The Fray. 

 

6) Favourite Solo Artist

Janet Devlin. All I need to say on the topic 

 

7) Favourite Album

There are so many albums I really like and this varies from time to time but an all time favourite would probably be English Rain by Gabrielle Aplin.

8) Best Live Gig

You're gonna kill me. I know you're gonna kill me. But I haven't actually been to a live gig! It's a long story. So who's gonna take me to my first one?

 

9) Guilty Pleasure Song

'Naive' by the Kooks because it always improves my mood and 'Vienna' by Billy Joel. Is that kind of embarassing? There's a problem with the CD shuffler at work and it just plays this album on repeat and this is my favourite on it

 

10) Song You Used To Hate But Now Like

I honestly can't think of any, sorry

11) Song You Used To Love But Now Can't Stand

You probably know by now that I work in the leisure industry. As much as it has it's perks, it has the odd disadvantage too; the music that they use for Zumba, fitness classes and aqua aerobics classes, I hear it most days. And my god, they never seem to change their playlists. The music they use tends to be 'pop' music that I enjoy to hear maybe once every so often on the radio. Then it gets overplayed. So add Dear Future Husband, Crazy Stupid Love, Cheerleader, Love Me Like You Do, Black Magic and Don't Be So Hard On Yourself to the bottom of a very long list. I think I'd miss them if I didn't hear them though. Call it a love/hate relationship. And you're not getting links to any of those, just switch your radio on

12) A Group You Wish Had Never Split

Ahahaha, easy one. S Club 7. I think I cried for a week when they split up. Obviously a 6-year-olds worst nightmare. It'd be quite nice for things like that to be my biggest worry now!

13) Favourite Cover of a Song

Dodie Clark and Tessa Violet covered All Star a while ago and it's still my favourite 

14) Favourite Song from a Film

I could answer this one in one word. Disney. But to be a little bit more descriptive and helpful...I really like Steady As A Beating Drum from Pocahontas, and Suspicious Minds which was used in Lilo and Stitch. I've changed my mind since the last time I wrote this and it's 'Feels Like Home' used in My Sister's Keeper

15) Favourite Song From an Advert

I think Tom Odell's song 'Another Love' was used in an advert at some point. If I'm right, that's my favourite 

16) A Song you Grew Up With

'Thank you for the Music' by ABBA is the first piece I can remember playing in a concert, probably when I was about six and since then it's found its way back in to my life many times in dance shows etc. But it also started my crazy little obsession over ABBA and that's not something I'll ever regret

17) First Song/Album Bought

I'm not sure if this was the first one I bought or if it was bought for me but it was Taller In More Ways by the Sugarbabes. At the time I was a little bit obsessed with the song 'Ugly'

18) Song You Found Accidently and Love

This wasn't quite accidental but a friend introduced me to First Aid Kit a couple of years ago and I heard one of their songs in a coffee shop the other day and remembered just how much I like them. So my favourites are Master Pretender and Silver Lining

 

19) Favourite Foreign Language Song

Well this just has to be 'Lo Qué Soy', Demi Lovato's Spanish version of 'This is me' from Camp Rock. And yes, I know all of the words. 

20) A Song from the Year you were Born

I had to Google this one too Meg! Okay, so Wannabe be Spice Girls or one version of Candle in the Wind. Big contrast

 

21) Song you will always get up and dance to

Lean On

22) Artist your Parents Introduced you too

Okay, from my mum...Bon Jovi, Whitney Houston and Queen. And my dad...Duffy, Oasis, Amy MacDonald, Jack Johnson and The Beatles

 

23) Song you would Recommend to Everyone

Angels on the Moon by Thriving Ivory which, coincidentally is another band that I'd recommend you checked out. I really do love them

24) Song that reminds you of a Specific Event

I'm afraid that this is going to be a bit of a sad one...

The song is 'Lady in Red' and it reminds me of my Grandma's funeral because it was played as the curtain went down. Okay, sob story over

25) Song that you can't help but sing along to

Lots for here...Teenage Dirtbag, 1973, Human, Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. Need I continue?

 

26) Happy Song

Okay, I'm going to call this a 'motivational' song more than a happy song. It's the song that I always put quite close to the end of my running playlist as it really keeps my going and it's 'Shut Up and Dance' 

27) Favourite Slow Song

A long-time favourite of mine would probably be 'Hometown Glory' by Adele, but also 'Concrete Angel' by Martina McBride, 'I'll stand by you' or 'I hope you dance' 

28) Song that will never get old

This is going to be a song that will never get old for me so a few of you may not know it well but it's 'Human' by Christina Perri. It's one of those songs that always reminds me it's okay to be affected by things.

 

29) Favourite Song At The Moment

 Florence and the Machine's 'Ship to Wreck'. Go and listen! Now!! 

30) All Time Favourite Song

Drops of Jupiter by Train or LIFEGOESON by Noah and the Whale. Both of these songs just have lots of good memories attached to them.

 

Hope you enjoyed that and maybe got to listen to a few songs that you've not heard before/for a while. I tag anyone who wants to take part and if you don't want to do a full post, type your answers in the comments below. 

Also extremely sorry I've not been around for so long. Been a very busy bee but promise you'll be hearing more from me in the coming weeks.

Keep smiling, 

Kathryn x

New Year's resolutions

December the 31st has found its way back around far too quickly. And what does New Year mean? Resolutions. 

As a general rule, I don't particularly agree with New Years resolutions. Wait, not like that! It's a great idea to try to better yourself and set goals to achieve. It keeps you moving forward and striving for a better version of you. However, I believe that this is something that you can do all of the time - definitely not just on January 1st! 

Nevertheless, I am going to share with you some of my goals and aims for the following twelve months and I'm sure you'll hear of new ones from me through the year too...

Spend more time outdoors

I love being outdoors, I love the sense of freedom, the beauty of nature. But rarely do I make time to enjoy it

Send more messages

I'm the first person to admit that I suck at replying to texts, to messages on Facebook and whatsapp, but I've learnt that's rubbish and it's good to stay in regular contact with people when you're living away 

Do more of what I enjoy

Life's too short; and those small things, they're not really all that small

Stress less

There are things you can't control, so where's the sense in worrying about them? 

Smile more

Because whatever it is that's making me not want to smile is definitely not going to last forever

Hope you all have a happy new year! And I'd love to hear your views in the comments...What are your views on New Year's Resolutions? Have you stuck to any from last year? Have you set any this year? And are any similar to mine? 

Keep smiling,

Kathryn X

It doesn't even feel like Christmas

Said everyone over the age of 15, every Christmas. Well, pretty much. And I guess I wanted to know why most of us feel like that. Because most of the time we still enjoy Christmas Day itself and all of the festivities that it brings. 

So after a little bit of thinking and googling (made up term?), I came to the conclusion that as you get older you just have more things on. More things that are more important. As a small child, you rarely have to worry about assignments or bills, so as you get older and these responsibilities grow, you just don't have the brain capacity to think about all of these things at the same time. 

So my conclusion...we definitely don't have to value Christmas any less as we get older, quite the contrary. Each year we may spend a little bit less time in the run up thinking about it so that it brings extra joy when it arrives. Have a lovely Christmas!! 

Keep smiling, 

Kathryn x 

When in doubt, get it out

Trapped in a world where everyone is thinking three months ahead of where they are today, never fully appreciating the moment that they're living in right now, I'm sat here. And I know exactly where I am. But at the same time, I'm lost. And from time to time, that gets a little bit overwhelming.

What I've realised just this past week is that you can't keep all of your feelings trapped inside your head because it will just get on top of you. And then you'll explode. 

It really can be hard to find the correct balance of doing things for other peopl and doing things for yourself. But it's really important to be aware of yourself and what you need. Sometimes you just an afternoon away from it all, doing something you enjoy or doing nothing at all, to bring you back. And then you're 100% refreshed and ready to help everyone else again! So find your escape and learn when you need it.

Keep smiling,

Kathryn x

Summer reading

By now, you've probably noticed that I really enjoy reading but hardly have anytime to do so. Well summer is the exception to that rule so here's a little summary of what I have been reading and my views on each book.

Firstly, an author I really enjoy is Cathy Glass. She is an inspirational woman who writes true stories, under a pseudonym, about her experiences of fostering children. In the past I've read quite a few of her books so my pre-holiday library visit started with a visit to her section. I picked up 'Daddy's Little Princess' and 'The Child Bride' both of which were very emotional and moving but I found some of the points raised in the second horrifying. I don't want to give too much away but what I'm going to say can all be gathered from the title! The little girl in this story is of Bangladeshi decent and it shows just how different the culture is and how living in England doesn't necessarily change that. The poor girl is subject to a forced marriage to someone three times her age and is hiding secrets that she wishes she could forget. 

After reading these two I read 'Cut' which, for me, ended a little too abruptly and I'm now reading 'Will Anyone Love Me?' which is becoming a personal favourite. It tells the story of Cathy's adopted daughter Lucy and has been such a heartwarming read.

Something else that I read on holiday was 'One Million Lovely Letters'. It is another true story about Jodi who contracts a life-threatening brain infection after a tick bite. It leaves her quality of life restricted but tells us about a project she set up to spread happiness, hope and joy across all corners of the world. It was lovely to see how positive things can come from anything and made me realise that there are so many inspirational people in the world who go unnoticed. I would definitely recommend this book to everyone.

And my final book is 'The book of you'. I read this one on my flight home from Egypt and it's a little bit different to the others; I have a varied taste. It's a thriller about a young woman, Clarissa, who has to do jury service. She is assigned on to a case about another young woman. One who is trying to get her stalker convicted. As the trial progresses it becomes more and more obvious about the similarities between the two women's lives. Not only that, it shows Clarissa just how difficult it is for her to do something about it. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this book and will certainly be looking out for more by the same author in the near future. 

And that's the end of my summer reading. It's becoming more and more autumnal at the moment, and I'm working more than full time hours, so I think I'll have to admit that summer is over. But I've realised how much I've missed escaping to new worlds so hopefully I'll manage to do a similar post soon.

Keep smiling,

Kathryn x