I'm a free elf

I had my last exam of first year yesterday and that in itself is absolutely terrifying. I'm a third/quarter of the way through my degree depending on which course I pick and the year has absolutely flown by. It's been the best year of my life to date and a pretty big adventure.

I've spent the last few weeks pretty isolated in a horrible little bubble of stress, panic and revision but the end of exams puts an end to this too! I feel like a house elf who's just been given a sock - I'm a free elf! The term isn't over for another 4 weeks and I've got some very exciting stuff planned. Basically I get bored of things like Netflix way too easily and wanted to keep myself very busy. So keep a look out for more blog posts, and other exciting things coming your way shortly.

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Results madness

I returned home from a family Egypt very late Wednesday evening and by the time I got home it was the early hours of Thursday morning. Results day. I was shaking and worried, convinced I had failed everything, and scared about my future. And when I tried to sleep, my head filled up with thoughts of failure and panic. I probably got an hours sleep that night in fifteen minute bursts. 

The results were supposed to go online at six am so when there was nothing to be seen at this time my anxiety levels rose again. It was at half past seven that I looked on UCAS track and found out what my future would hold... 

I had been accepted to my firm choice!! I was so excited and still am! In the end I had to head up to school at 8am for my actual results which were as follows: A* in maths, A in further maths, B in biology, B in Chemistry and an A* in my EPQ. After such a difficult year for me in so many ways, I finally felt as though my work had paid off. But I was a little bit confused. My firm choice wanted A*AA and I only got A*AB. I hadn't made the grades but I still got accepted. I'm not complaining though. It feels like a second chance and now I genuinely do believe that if you work hard and always try your best, you will get what you want in the end.

My message to you is that whatever happens, it's for the best. Everything turns out well in the end and the day may not go as planned but that's just a hurdle. A stepping stone to the next adventure in your life. You can still shape your future however you want it to shape, you might just have to follow a different path for a little while.

Keep smiling,

Kathryn x

Happy Sad Tears

I finished my exams yesterday. The final one was Decision 2 (a maths module) and I'm quite pleased with how it went but we'll have to wait and see what happens on August 13th.

When I walked out of the exam I felt a huge wave of relief rush over me; everything I'd worked so hard for over the past couple of years had finally ended. But only for a few moments before I felt kind of sad and melancholic.

My college is a sixth form at the secondary school I went to so I've spent the best part of seven years with the same people, in the same buildings and with the same teachers. And, over the past 6-12 months especially, the place has become more of a second home to me. Maybe even a first home. And the people, they became a second family. So I think it's only expected that the thought of leaving is a little bit sad. It's the close of the biggest chapter of my life.

I know that it's not really over, because I'm still going back as work experience and because I'll stay in touch with everyone who is important to me but for now I am still a little bit sad and I think that's acceptable.

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

P.S I'd quite like to know your answers to this: Have any of you ever felt similar to this or had similar experiences?

When it all gets a little bit overwhelming...

For some of us it's that time of year that may be even more stressful than exams; time to apply for university! Now I can hear it, some of you are asking 'how can applying for something be more stressful than getting the grades to get in?' But it really is! 

I'm 17 years old yet suddenly have to be making grown-up decisions about money about accommodation and about where I want to spend the next three or four years of my life. Not only that, I'm expected to make life-changing decisions. And I'm not talking 'I can't decide whether to pick music or art for GCSE' sort of decisions. In no way am I belittling GCSEs but, for anyone worrying about them right now, they're just a little stepping stone. In two years time you won't even remember your results from them. But now I have to pick one course that limits my career options so much. Am I really expected to know what I want to do for the rest of my life? 

And we have to 'sell ourselves' to the university in 4000 characters or less. That may seem like a lot but I don't think I've written a blog post that's shorter than that yet and the personal statement has to include enough information about me to earn myself an offer! 

For the last few weeks, I have been filled with worry and dread. I've been constantly anxious and panicky but I can see that it hasn't been necessary. My UCAS form has gone now; there's absolutely nothing that I can do to change anything so I can eagerly anticipate replies from my chosen universities. 

This experience has helped me to realise that sometimes it's extremely important to just take a minute to step back from the situation, relax and look after yourself. I have felt completely overwhelmed by the idea of choosing five universities but it's important to remember that whatever happens, it happens for a reason. Right now you're exactly where you're supposed to be and you have to trust that in the future you'll end up exactly where you're meant to be too! For the time being, when things get a little bit overwhelming, sit back and enjoy the ride because things won't be like this forever. 

Keep smiling,

Kathryn x