Happy Sad Tears

I finished my exams yesterday. The final one was Decision 2 (a maths module) and I'm quite pleased with how it went but we'll have to wait and see what happens on August 13th.

When I walked out of the exam I felt a huge wave of relief rush over me; everything I'd worked so hard for over the past couple of years had finally ended. But only for a few moments before I felt kind of sad and melancholic.

My college is a sixth form at the secondary school I went to so I've spent the best part of seven years with the same people, in the same buildings and with the same teachers. And, over the past 6-12 months especially, the place has become more of a second home to me. Maybe even a first home. And the people, they became a second family. So I think it's only expected that the thought of leaving is a little bit sad. It's the close of the biggest chapter of my life.

I know that it's not really over, because I'm still going back as work experience and because I'll stay in touch with everyone who is important to me but for now I am still a little bit sad and I think that's acceptable.

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

P.S I'd quite like to know your answers to this: Have any of you ever felt similar to this or had similar experiences?

Where have you been?

So it seems that I haven't been around all that much, if at all, for the past couple of months. I'm sure you'll all appreciate that I am just coming the the end of year 13 so have had a lot on my plate juggling exams and the baggage that they bring along, my swimming training, keeping up a job to fund university accommodation fees for next year, and trying my hardest to remain somewhat close to sane. And out of all of those things I think that latter has been and still is the hardest (but that'll be a post for another day I think). I haven't yet finished my exams; I have one more on Wednesday morning but I'm taking a quick break from revision to write this because I've had an exam this morning and any more thinking might just turn my brain to mush. 

Whilst I've been away, I have still been working on ideas for blog posts, as well as various other creativities. I guess it is a shame but I haven't really been in the mindset to let these ideas take shape. A few of you may know that I'm a fan of metaphors so lets call these ideas seeds. Seeds that grow into the trees or plants for your favourite fruit. Now these seeds have been planted and every time a little shoot develops a naughty little fox comes along and eats the top all because I have been so focused on other things that I haven't been protecting the shoots. But these seeds are strong, determined little things and they keep pushing. And, perhaps more importantly, very soon I'm going to have time to protect these little shoots. 

So I hope you appreciate that I haven't just abandoned my blog, I've just had way too much on and for a while had to work out which things in my life were the most important, and which I could put on hold for a while. But be assured, I'm back now. And back with regular(ish) posts as well as hopefully a few new surprises coming up over the coming months.

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Education: the right way?

The eduction cycle: school, college, university then a good job. It's that simple isn't it? Well, for me it is the right route. In fact, it's most probably the only sensible route into my chosen career. However, this is not the 'right way'. There is no right way when it comes to education and everyone's path is different.

Recently I've been thinking about what I could be doing if I wasn't in college and I know that there's nothing I want to be doing more but, for some people, it doesn't suit their personality. There are so many options nowadays that there is something for everyone and there is no excuse for someone to be forced into something that they don't want to do. Many of my friends who have chosen routes different to mine were unsure when following their dreams because they thought other people would think less of them for choosing a less conventional option. But what gives anyone the right to judge you for following your dreams? Why shouldn't you be able to do a degree in English, Geography or Sport science? Do an apprenticeship or drop out of college to get a job? If you are taking the next step that is right for you, where is the problem?

I guess what I'm trying to do is spread the message that as long as YOU are happy with what you're doing, why shouldn't anyone else be? Why should you have to do something to fit in with convention or to satisfy someone else? I've spent a long time trying to please other people but know now that it's me who has to live my life, and I should do it the way that I want to! So next time you feel like you're not going the right way just because it's not the most common, take a moment to think twice!

Keep smiling,

Kathryn x

When it all gets a little bit overwhelming...

For some of us it's that time of year that may be even more stressful than exams; time to apply for university! Now I can hear it, some of you are asking 'how can applying for something be more stressful than getting the grades to get in?' But it really is! 

I'm 17 years old yet suddenly have to be making grown-up decisions about money about accommodation and about where I want to spend the next three or four years of my life. Not only that, I'm expected to make life-changing decisions. And I'm not talking 'I can't decide whether to pick music or art for GCSE' sort of decisions. In no way am I belittling GCSEs but, for anyone worrying about them right now, they're just a little stepping stone. In two years time you won't even remember your results from them. But now I have to pick one course that limits my career options so much. Am I really expected to know what I want to do for the rest of my life? 

And we have to 'sell ourselves' to the university in 4000 characters or less. That may seem like a lot but I don't think I've written a blog post that's shorter than that yet and the personal statement has to include enough information about me to earn myself an offer! 

For the last few weeks, I have been filled with worry and dread. I've been constantly anxious and panicky but I can see that it hasn't been necessary. My UCAS form has gone now; there's absolutely nothing that I can do to change anything so I can eagerly anticipate replies from my chosen universities. 

This experience has helped me to realise that sometimes it's extremely important to just take a minute to step back from the situation, relax and look after yourself. I have felt completely overwhelmed by the idea of choosing five universities but it's important to remember that whatever happens, it happens for a reason. Right now you're exactly where you're supposed to be and you have to trust that in the future you'll end up exactly where you're meant to be too! For the time being, when things get a little bit overwhelming, sit back and enjoy the ride because things won't be like this forever. 

Keep smiling,

Kathryn x

What do you want to do in the future?

So this is going to be a different sort of blog post today. I haven't posted for a while and wanted to write but didn't have anything in particular to write about so I decided to just let my pen take control and see where it went. 

Since I've just finished my exams and my first year at college (year 12) and applying for university starts in September, I've been asked a lot about what it is I want to do in the future and I guess it's made me realise that I don't actually know, but that's okay! Sometimes it really is okay to be unsure of things. It just means that you're taking your time to consider things so that you don't rush into something that you don't really want to do.

For a while I've had a couple of options and one of those is to do medicine at university and then become a doctor. I have quite a lot of experience of the life changing things that doctors do and thought it would be absolutely fantastic to be able to help people like that. However, I've done quite a lot of voluntary work in hospitals and realised that often, the reality of the job isn't quite the same as you think. It is still something that I'm considering but I'd have to find a specialism with the minimal amount of paperwork possible as the main reason I'm interested in this is for the patient contact time. Which I guess could seem odd to some people who know me well as I can get quite anxious in social situations but, from my own experience, I'm not too bad in small groups for example when I'm teaching at swimming or in a classroom. So, I'm not by any means doubting the excellent work that medical professionals do. I'm just wondering whether or not the current system is something that I'd be happy working with because I believe that you never really work a day if you're doing something that you enjoy! 

One more thing that I've thought about is a career in teaching. I think it would give me plenty of opportunity to work with different types of people and the work experience I have done in schools has been really fun. I don't think I'd ever be able to teach in a primary school (the children are all way too small) but I quite enjoy maths and think I wouldn't be too much of a bad secondary school maths teacher. Again, because maths is something I enjoy, I think doing a degree in maths then a PGCE would be quite a good career choice for me but I'm not too sure. I may enjoy the degree so much that I choose a different career in maths. I know that by September I really need to have decided what I'm going to do and it may be one of these or I could choose something completely different but for the time being I'm not going to worry too much about it and just enjoy my summer. As long as I end up in a career that I enjoy, it doesn't matter too much to me and its probably what's here right now that I should be focusing on. Whatever happens, happens and you have to trust that you'll make the right decisions as they come along.

So in short, I'm not too bothered about what I do as a career or anything. I just want to have a job where I am happy and I'm in a position where I can make other people happy! But I do want to hear from you. What do you want to do in the future?

Keep smiling,

Kathryn x

Introductions

In my last post I didn't really get a chance to introduce myself so I thought that would be a good place to start. In exchange, I'd like to hear all about some of you! You can do this by commenting, posting a link to your blog or any other way you see fit.

I'm Kathryn! Just your average 17-year old girl from England. Currently I'm at college studying for my A-levels and, to be honest, I'm not quite sure what I'll do afterwards. I mean, I've got some ideas but they never seem to satisfy everyone's hopes and dreams.

In my spare time I like to do quite a lot of different things so if you get bored easily I'd skip this paragraph! I love to swim; both competing myself and coaching/teaching others. Basically, I just enjoy everything about being near the pool and the feeling of freedom it gives. And I do hear what you're thinking: 'what about all of those crazy early morning sessions?' But you don't mind when it's something you love, honest.

Also, I thoroughly enjoy reading (the best form of escapism!) and writing. Not usually anything in particular so I'm always open to new suggestions. In fact, I've almost finished reading Looking for Alaska (which I would definitely recommend ) so be expecting a review soon! I also love listening to music but my taste in music is often considered to be 'odd' or 'a little strange' to other people.

I have other hobbies too but I'll get around to them at a later date. I look forward to hearing from some of you!

Keep smiling, 

Kathryn x