Results madness

I returned home from a family Egypt very late Wednesday evening and by the time I got home it was the early hours of Thursday morning. Results day. I was shaking and worried, convinced I had failed everything, and scared about my future. And when I tried to sleep, my head filled up with thoughts of failure and panic. I probably got an hours sleep that night in fifteen minute bursts. 

The results were supposed to go online at six am so when there was nothing to be seen at this time my anxiety levels rose again. It was at half past seven that I looked on UCAS track and found out what my future would hold... 

I had been accepted to my firm choice!! I was so excited and still am! In the end I had to head up to school at 8am for my actual results which were as follows: A* in maths, A in further maths, B in biology, B in Chemistry and an A* in my EPQ. After such a difficult year for me in so many ways, I finally felt as though my work had paid off. But I was a little bit confused. My firm choice wanted A*AA and I only got A*AB. I hadn't made the grades but I still got accepted. I'm not complaining though. It feels like a second chance and now I genuinely do believe that if you work hard and always try your best, you will get what you want in the end.

My message to you is that whatever happens, it's for the best. Everything turns out well in the end and the day may not go as planned but that's just a hurdle. A stepping stone to the next adventure in your life. You can still shape your future however you want it to shape, you might just have to follow a different path for a little while.

Keep smiling,

Kathryn x

The Disney tag

Hello!

I've been tagged by my best friend Megan (megangoodier.blogspot.co.uk) to do the Disney tag and honestly I'm really, really excited to do it! So here goes...

1. A scene in any Disney movie you wish you could experience. 

Okay, I'm going to explain this one really badly but you know the part in the first Lilo and Stitch when they're both in the bedroom and Lilo explains about her parents and she tells Stitch that he can go if he wants to just like everyone else but she won't forget him. 

  2. An unforgettable experience moment you've had at the Parks.

Unfortunately I've never been to one of the Disney parks. Gasp. I know. It's not right, is it? But my parents just have never been anywhere near as Disney obsessed as I am.

          3. Which Disney Character can you relate too the most? 

Ooooh, a very tricky one. It's really hard because I feel like I can relate to different parts of different characters but I'm going to have to settle on Ariel...no...Pocahontas...Ariel, Pocahontas. Go with Pocahontas before I change my mind. 

4. When was the first time you went to a Disney Park?

See question two. The first time I was supposed to visit a Disney park was this summer but I wasn't allowed. Instead, I hope to visit one next year with a couple of friends.

5. If you could choose any of the characters to be your best friend who would you choose?

Mushu. I've always said that if I get a dog I'd call it Mushu. And a dog is a mans best friend. See my logic? Because I don't.

6. Who are you favorite Disney Princesses? 

Okay, there are so many I could list here but I'm going to try and restrict myself to just two. Firstly, Mulan because she's one of the first female characters I saw to show such strength, courage and determination. And secondly, Ariel because we share the same love/hate relationship with water! 

7. Name a scene/moment in any Disney movie that never fails to make your cry.

Same scene from the first question, lazy answer Kathryn. But it is true. 

8. What is the first Disney Movie you remember seeing?

The first Disney movie I can remember seeing is either Bambi or Alice in Wonderland and to this day they are two of my favourites. 

9. What is your favourite Disney Movie?

So many favourites...I can't possibly choose. Can I do a shortlist but in no particular order? Actually, of course I can - it's my blog!!

1) The Little Mermaid. No explanation needed for this one I don't think. 

2) Lilo and Stitch. The messages in this one are put across so well and I believe you can't fully appreciate the magic of the film until you're a little bit older

3) Mulan. The story behind this one is just fantastic. 

4) Pocahontas. The one with the best soundtrack, definitely 

10. What is your favourite Disney song?

I think the fact that I have an eight-hour playlist on my iPod dedicated to my favourite Disney songs should show you how difficult this is for me so just a few. Circle of Life from The Lion King. Part of Your World and Kiss the Girl from The Little Mermaid (I can remember dancing to both of these on the theatre when I was really little). Steady as the beating drum from Pocahontas but I'm not sure if that one can count. I was just about to finish then but there's more. Two worlds, Strangers Like Me, You'll be in my Heart all from Tarzan. No Way Out from Brother and the Bear. God Help the Outcasts. And the list continues...

11. What is your favourite Disney Duet?

A Whole New World because it was the first thing my Grandad taught me on the piano when I was six. And I don't think he's taught me anything since.

12. What is your Favorite attraction/ride at the parks?

Now you're just trying to torment me, right?

13. Who's the park character you never want to miss meeting at the parks?

Arghhh, the torment. But I imagine it would be Stitch, Mulan or Ariel

14. Favourite Disney sequel movie?

Lilo and Stitch II. Just because Stitch. And awwwhhh. And the music. Well my English skills have gone down the pan.

15. Favourite Disney couple?

Surely I have to say Minnie and Mickey Mouse. Where would any of us be without those two? 

16. Favourite Disney merchandise?

Either the Finding Nemo lanyard that I wear for work or my Disney Mug collection. You'll see that one day, I promise.

17. Favourite Disney Price?

Prince Adam because he's underrated as a prince and always seems to have good intentions really. This reminds me, I've missed a song from ten. No going back now though. 

18. If you could live in any world from a Disney movie, which would you choose?

This is a tricky one but I think I'd like to live in Neverland so that I never have to grow up.

19. Character that you think is very under-rated?

I have two again, sorry. Nani from LILO and Stitch and Blue Fairy from Pinnochio

20. Which Disney movie will always have a special place in your heart and for what reason?

Bambi. For all of the weak ankle, D of E jokes and for being one of tei that never fail to cheer me up when I have a bad day. 

That has been so much fun! Thanks for tagging me Meg! I tag anyone else who wants to do this tag. So leave me a link below if you do it. And if not, post your answer to just one of the questions.

Keep smiling,

Kathryn x

What's the worst that can happen?

For a long time I have been scared of doing new things. Sounds a little crazy written down like that but maybe craziness is what helps keep the world spinning around...




When it comes to going out with friends, my parents have always been quite strict I guess. For me, it wasn't just the usual 'be back by ten' or being given the third degree about who I go with/where I go. It was more, 'you're wasting time that you should be spending on school work and training'. And, as much as I understand that they had the best intentions/were probably a bit worried, it has led to sort of a mental intolerance to social activities.




In my head, I feel guilty for wanting to spend time with friends, going out to parties or just having a catch up over coffee because I should be 'spending my time better'. But I've come to realise that there's no better way to spend your time than being happy. Despite this, it's still hard. I have to justify to myself my own reasoning for going if that makes sense? And because I'm not used to it and I know I'm going against my parents wishes, I worry excessively and panic so things don't always go all that well. To most of you, this is probably crazy but it has turned me into someone who fears being in an environment with other people. But this has just become a bigger and bigger issue because it leads to fear in other situations like interviews and meetings. And I realised that I need to do something about these fears before it becomes something that holds me back.




So even though I know that my parents still don't like me going to parties (yes, I am 18) I have tried more recently. And at first I was just worried and didn't enjoy it all that much. But after learning to relax a little more, I have discovered that, among the right people, it can be so much fun and maybe it's a shame that I've wasted too much time being too scared of things going wrong that I haven't let them go right either.




So I've promised myself that from now on I am going to try new things. I may not always enjoy them, but how will I know that I don't if I never try? And what is the worst that can happen? Is it really worth living a life not taking risks when you could find something that you love more than anything?




Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Where have you been?

So it seems that I haven't been around all that much, if at all, for the past couple of months. I'm sure you'll all appreciate that I am just coming the the end of year 13 so have had a lot on my plate juggling exams and the baggage that they bring along, my swimming training, keeping up a job to fund university accommodation fees for next year, and trying my hardest to remain somewhat close to sane. And out of all of those things I think that latter has been and still is the hardest (but that'll be a post for another day I think). I haven't yet finished my exams; I have one more on Wednesday morning but I'm taking a quick break from revision to write this because I've had an exam this morning and any more thinking might just turn my brain to mush. 

Whilst I've been away, I have still been working on ideas for blog posts, as well as various other creativities. I guess it is a shame but I haven't really been in the mindset to let these ideas take shape. A few of you may know that I'm a fan of metaphors so lets call these ideas seeds. Seeds that grow into the trees or plants for your favourite fruit. Now these seeds have been planted and every time a little shoot develops a naughty little fox comes along and eats the top all because I have been so focused on other things that I haven't been protecting the shoots. But these seeds are strong, determined little things and they keep pushing. And, perhaps more importantly, very soon I'm going to have time to protect these little shoots. 

So I hope you appreciate that I haven't just abandoned my blog, I've just had way too much on and for a while had to work out which things in my life were the most important, and which I could put on hold for a while. But be assured, I'm back now. And back with regular(ish) posts as well as hopefully a few new surprises coming up over the coming months.

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Back around...

So here I am! I know I've been absent for a short while so I'm sorry everyone. I've had a lot going in my life and many things to deal with and juggling it all with two/three jobs, college work, being in and volunteering for a swimming club etc has been a little bit difficult. Never mind finding time to remain sane too! But that's all getting worked on now so all's good. A work in progress and all of that. But that leaves me in a muddle, I am back around and will be posting from time to time but I make no promises about how much because, quite simply, I can't.

But I'm not the only thing that's back around...

At the moment there are people in my life that I never thought would end up back in my life. And I am so thrilled that some of them are. But some of them it would be if they'd remained out of it. In the nicest way possible, obviously. They bring back awful memories, and others still treating me the way they did when I pushed them away so maybe keeping that sort of person at arms length is the best way forward.

And what else is back around? My life. I've literally come full circle, back to the place I was in this time last year. At first I thought that was an awful thing, but it doesn't have to be. I have a second opportunity to fix the things I didn't last year and I really am thankful for the opportunity to do just that. I know it's going to be hard, but hopefully with all of the help I'm getting I won't be going full circle back to the start again. I guess it's true what they say; what goes around does come back around.

Keep smiling,

Kathryn x