Thursday 31 December 2015

New Year's resolutions

December the 31st has found its way back around far too quickly. And what does New Year mean? Resolutions. 
As a general rule, I don't particularly agree with New Years resolutions. Wait, not like that! It's a great idea to try to better yourself and set goals to achieve. It keeps you moving forward and striving for a better version of you. However, I believe that this is something that you can do all of the time - definitely not just on January 1st! 

Nevertheless, I am going to share with you some of my goals and aims for the following twelve months and I'm sure you'll hear of new ones from me through the year too...

Spend more time outdoors
I love being outdoors, I love the sense of freedom, the beauty of nature. But rarely do I make time to enjoy it

Send more messages
I'm the first person to admit that I suck at replying to texts, to messages on Facebook and whatsapp, but I've learnt that's rubbish and it's good to stay in regular contact with people when you're living away 

Do more of what I enjoy
Life's too short; and those small things, they're not really all that small

Stress less
There are things you can't control, so where's the sense in worrying about them? 

Smile more
Because whatever it is that's making me not want to smile is definitely not going to last forever

Hope you all have a happy new year! And I'd love to hear your views in the comments...What are your views on New Year's Resolutions? Have you stuck to any from last year? Have you set any this year? And are any similar to mine? 

Keep smiling,
Kathryn X

Thursday 24 December 2015

It doesn't even feel like Christmas

Said everyone over the age of 15, every Christmas. Well, pretty much. And I guess I wanted to know why most of us feel like that. Because most of the time we still enjoy Christmas Day itself and all of the festivities that it brings. 

So after a little bit of thinking and googling (made up term?), I came to the conclusion that as you get older you just have more things on. More things that are more important. As a small child, you rarely have to worry about assignments or bills, so as you get older and these responsibilities grow, you just don't have the brain capacity to think about all of these things at the same time. 

So my conclusion...we definitely don't have to value Christmas any less as we get older, quite the contrary. Each year we may spend a little bit less time in the run up thinking about it so that it brings extra joy when it arrives. Have a lovely Christmas!! 

Keep smiling, 
Kathryn x 

Tuesday 8 December 2015

When in doubt, get it out

Trapped in a world where everyone is thinking three months ahead of where they are today, never fully appreciating the moment that they're living in right now, I'm sat here. And I know exactly where I am. But at the same time, I'm lost. And from time to time, that gets a little bit overwhelming.

What I've realised just this past week is that you can't keep all of your feelings trapped inside your head because it will just get on top of you. And then you'll explode. 

It really can be hard to find the correct balance of doing things for other peopl and doing things for yourself. But it's really important to be aware of yourself and what you need. Sometimes you just an afternoon away from it all, doing something you enjoy or doing nothing at all, to bring you back. And then you're 100% refreshed and ready to help everyone else again! So find your escape and learn when you need it.

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Monday 30 November 2015

Where've you been Kathryn?

So the short answer to the question above is...busy. But lots of very different sorts of busy. Over the next couple of weeks I'll catch you up and let you know what I've been up to as I'm starting to manage my time better and make time for the small, enjoyable things, like writing. In the meantime, I hope you're all well and don't mind sticking around with me for a little while longer.

Keep smiling, 
Kathryn x

Sunday 18 October 2015

Do we see the things that we don't want to see?

The other day I was talking to someone about a problem she'd reported somewhere that she'd experienced before multiple times and some of the words she used really stuck in my head: 'It's like everything around here. If it's not going their way, they'll just ignore it.' Now this got me thinking. And it was only this morning, whilst in work, that I realised there's been times when she'd just ignored things too.

Maybe it's the 'ignorance is bliss' syndrome. Your car is making noises that it shouldn't be and you don't want to admit that it needs repairing because it'll cost a fortune. You've heard bad news from someone and you put it to the back of your mind to carry on like you don't know. Or maybe it's something else? 

Part of me can't quite believe that it's as simple as just ignoring things we don't want to hear. Maybe our minds are trying to protect themselves and don't let us see the things that could hurt us, don't let us hear the things that displease us and don't let us remember the things that wouldn't be beneficial to remember. Or maybe our minds are scared of letting other people know what we think because they fear it makes us vulnerable or weak. Sometimes it's very important to remember that everyone has those things that they bury down and you don't have to hide them. 

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Well that was just a little bit of food for thought. Clearly I have too much time on my hands and should stop reading into things. 


Friday 9 October 2015

University haul


My university starts a little later than most people's but I thought it would be nice to do a quick list of things I bought for university this year...

First things first stationary:
This is just a really small selection of the stationary I'm taking away and I guess that's self-explanatory, unless you're going to study performing arts maybe. I can imagine assume that most people are probably going to have to write something down at least and hacking a good supply will help to keep you organised.

And next, storage. I've bought these really cute tins for storing a variety of things. They'll help me to make my room more homely but tidy too. I was also happy to find out that I had unserved storage space so bought unserved storage boxes too.

A Kathryn necessitiy now: tea.
This is actually only a small sample of my hot drinks collection I'll be taking away but I really love my herbal teas. It's something that'll help make me feel at home and warm me up in the cold I'll definitely be experiencing. 

Another thing I'll be taking is a lot of toiletries. Like a years supply so that I rarely have to spend any money ;) 
So in theory, this is a years supply of chocolate, treats and cereal bars. Might also be useful for friend-making during freshens week.
And lastly, but most importantly for me, the things I love. Make sure you take the things you enjoy. They'll help you if you're ever upset, make you feel relaxed and remind you that things really haven't changed much. My art stuff, pencils, paints and a brand new sketch pad.

I hope you enjoyed that and maybe found it a little bit useful.

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Friday 25 September 2015

My morning thoughts on the high chair

Looking at the title of this post is a bit ambiguous to me so you probably have no idea what to expect right now but maybe that's part of the fun. So by now you might know that I'm a lifeguard and, as much I love it, there are times when staring at an empty pool (yes, we have to watch it when no ones using it) gets a tad boring. So here you have a shortened list of the things I think whilst sat on the lifeguard chair on the early shift...

1. It's 7:30am. People don't come swimming at this time of morning...unless you're a regular. Oh yes, that's Bob, and Harold, and Roy, and...

2. Okay, 7:31. Only 19 minutes until you can rotate. Only 19 minutes. Stay awake Kathryn, you can do it.

3. You've been in work for half an hour. Well done, you've earned £3.50. That's almost enough for a coffee. And you could go out for coffee if it wasn't for the fact that you're in work.

4. Actually, coffee sounds like a good idea right now. Why didn't you boil the kettle before you came on to the pool? If you boil it when you come off the drink will be cold by the time you get to have it.

5. Damn, I need a wee. How come I didn't need it two minutes ago? 

6. Aaaannnd I'm surrounded by water. Marvellous.

7. Only another 7/8/14 hours until your shift over. You'll be alright. It'll fly by.

8. I have wet feet. Why did I jet wash before the pool opened? And why didn't I change shoes? Now they're gonna be wet all day. 

9. Don't look at the clock Kathryn, 7:50 will come quicker if you don't.

10. It's 7:32am.

Hope that humoured you and if you're interested in a sequel, let me know down below 😊 I'm also a swimming teacher, receptionist and gym instructor so I suppose any of those could make an interesting rant!

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x


A little disclaimer: I really do enjoy my job.  This shows an extreme and is just for the purpose of your enjoyment. A lot of people consider my job as 'easy money' and 'just watching water' but it's really not. We have to have to deal with some big emergencies and a lot of the time we spend 2/3 of our day cleaning. 





Sunday 20 September 2015

Paper Towns: film review

After reading all of his books and becoming a little obsessed, a friend of mine and I promised we'd see every one of John Green's films together. And, true to that promise, we had our last catch-up before she left for uni at the cinema watching 'Paper Towns'. 

I had been eager to see this for a while, all of the pre-release material and trailers had me gripped and I could only hope that the film would live up to my (exceedingly high) expectations. And it did; there is absolutely no doubt about it. 

I don't want to do major give-always or spoilers so what I am going to tell you is this... 
I was hugely impressed by the selection of actors, I have to admit I had doubts about Cara Delevingne but she probably was the most impressive of them all. Tbe way the characters were portrayed was just how I'd imagined from the novel and the storyline was obviously gripping if not a little fast paced. It ended perfectly, just like the novel with a sad but necessary ending that left the two characters too far apart, yet just close enough.

My only criticism is that some parts of the book were missed out. I know that this is important to shorten the film down, however, the film was not as long as others I've seen so extra little bits should have been manageable. I have vivid memories from certain parts of the book that just seem to have been forgotten about. And, considering I read the book over 12 months ago, they must have been very engaging parts for me to still remember them. 

Either way, it was a fantastic evening, a wonderful film and another fantastic film based on the works of John Green. I would definitely advise you to see it before it leaves the cinema. If any of you have seen it, what did you think? 

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Sunday 6 September 2015

Summer reading

By now, you've probably noticed that I really enjoy reading but hardly have anytime to do so. Well summer is the exception to that rule so here's a little summary of what I have been reading and my views on each book.

Firstly, an author I really enjoy is Cathy Glass. She is an inspirational woman who writes true stories, under a pseudonym, about her experiences of fostering children. In the past I've read quite a few of her books so my pre-holiday library visit started with a visit to her section. I picked up 'Daddy's Little Princess' and 'The Child Bride' both of which were very emotional and moving but I found some of the points raised in the second horrifying. I don't want to give too much away but what I'm going to say can all be gathered from the title! The little girl in this story is of Bangladeshi decent and it shows just how different the culture is and how living in England doesn't necessarily change that. The poor girl is subject to a forced marriage to someone three times her age and is hiding secrets that she wishes she could forget. 

After reading these two I read 'Cut' which, for me, ended a little too abruptly and I'm now reading 'Will Anyone Love Me?' which is becoming a personal favourite. It tells the story of Cathy's adopted daughter Lucy and has been such a heartwarming read.


Something else that I read on holiday was 'One Million Lovely Letters'. It is another true story about Jodi who contracts a life-threatening brain infection after a tick bite. It leaves her quality of life restricted but tells us about a project she set up to spread happiness, hope and joy across all corners of the world. It was lovely to see how positive things can come from anything and made me realise that there are so many inspirational people in the world who go unnoticed. I would definitely recommend this book to everyone.

And my final book is 'The book of you'. I read this one on my flight home from Egypt and it's a little bit different to the others; I have a varied taste. It's a thriller about a young woman, Clarissa, who has to do jury service. She is assigned on to a case about another young woman. One who is trying to get her stalker convicted. As the trial progresses it becomes more and more obvious about the similarities between the two women's lives. Not only that, it shows Clarissa just how difficult it is for her to do something about it. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this book and will certainly be looking out for more by the same author in the near future. 

And that's the end of my summer reading. It's becoming more and more autumnal at the moment, and I'm working more than full time hours, so I think I'll have to admit that summer is over. But I've realised how much I've missed escaping to new worlds so hopefully I'll manage to do a similar post soon.

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x







Wednesday 26 August 2015

Tourist tales: Helsinki

I get to do a part two! Isn't this great?

After our expedition, we left the campsite at around 10am on a coach that took us on the four hour journey back to the capital of Finland, Helsinki. Now four hours might seem a long time but it flew by so quickly in a blur of reading, music and taking in the scenery of a new country. We arrived at the Eurohostel in Helsinki at around 2pm, dumped our bags and, although very tired, couldn't wait to explore the city. 

The first thing we did was the bit that I was most excited for; the markets! I love to see markets in foreign countries as they are all so varied and different and these were no exception! I picked up a couple of souvenirs including a beautiful fridge magnet for at home. And, since we hadn't eaten since breakfast, I treated myself to some of the most delicious, melt-in-your-mouth, homemade vanilla fudge that I managed to make last a grand total of two minutes! Then we found the crepe stall where I bought a banana and Nutella one (healthy diet me 😉) but I couldn't quite finish it. 

The afternoon was spent wandering, sort of aimlessly, around shops and exploring the area. Whilst we were there, a huge gymnastics competition was going on in Helsinki and it was lovely to see the teams each in their own brightly coloured kits. Later on we found a lovely cathedral which was holding a wedding. As the wedding bells rang members of the public ran to create two lines from the cathedral to the wedding car for the couple to walk through and if was all just so lovely. It filled me with so much warmth.

We then found our way to the Hard Rock Cafe where we had a relaxed drink and I called my sister to wish her a happy birthday. By this point it was time for a meal. A large group of us met up at the Pizza Hut for dinner and it was sort of nice to be eating from a table and plates again as opposed to sitting on the ground with food bags. Strangely enough, you can grow to miss both options equally.

At around 9pm we returned to the Catedral for group expedition photos (it doesn't really go dark so it was always light enough for photos!)
(Group 1 - the best group!) 

We had a few races up the hundred steps to the cathedral and then headed off out to a bar for a couple of drinks but then I headed back to the hostel as a friend wasn't feeling too well. It was around 11pm and, after a relatively sleepless week, I was exhausted and wanted to make the most of our final day. So, no sooner than my head hit the pillow, I was asleep.

On our final day I woke at six, enjoyed the complimentary sauna, showered and changed. I then went down for breakfast with the leaders as everyone else was still in bed hungover. And I just don't see the point of wasting a day in a new place. I went on a boat trip across to islands and enjoyed the opportunity to practice my nature photography. 

I returned to the hostel and still only one person was out of bed. I found the money I'd collected for our leader and left to buy him a present from us all with Emma. We found a canoeing top which we decorated and all signed on the plane home amongst other things. After a little supermarket run in the pouring rain, we were done and awaiting our coach for the journey home. 

The journey was relatively uneventful. I was a little bit panicky then travel sick on the coach back home but still managed to enjoy a delicious vanilla tea from Starbucks at the service station. It was such a lovely trip and I can't wait for another in the near future!

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x





Saturday 15 August 2015

Results madness

I returned home from a family Egypt very late Wednesday evening and by the time I got home it was the early hours of Thursday morning. Results day. I was shaking and worried, convinced I had failed everything, and scared about my future. And when I tried to sleep, my head filled up with thoughts of failure and panic. I probably got an hours sleep that night in fifteen minute bursts. 

The results were supposed to go online at six am so when there was nothing to be seen at this time my anxiety levels rose again. It was at half past seven that I looked on UCAS track and found out what my future would hold... 

I had been accepted to my firm choice!! I was so excited and still am! In the end I had to head up to school at 8am for my actual results which were as follows: A* in maths, A in further maths, B in biology, B in Chemistry and an A* in my EPQ. After such a difficult year for me in so many ways, I finally felt as though my work had paid off. But I was a little bit confused. My firm choice wanted A*AA and I only got A*AB. I hadn't made the grades but I still got accepted. I'm not complaining though. It feels like a second chance and now I genuinely do believe that if you work hard and always try your best, you will get what you want in the end.

My message to you is that whatever happens, it's for the best. Everything turns out well in the end and the day may not go as planned but that's just a hurdle. A stepping stone to the next adventure in your life. You can still shape your future however you want it to shape, you might just have to follow a different path for a little while.

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Thursday 6 August 2015

The Disney tag

Hello!

I've been tagged by my best friend Megan (megangoodier.blogspot.co.uk) to do the Disney tag and honestly I'm really, really excited to do it! So here goes...


1. A scene in any Disney movie you wish you could experience. 
Okay, I'm going to explain this one really badly but you know the part in the first Lilo and Stitch when they're both in the bedroom and Lilo explains about her parents and she tells Stitch that he can go if he wants to just like everyone else but she won't forget him. 

  2. An unforgettable experience moment you've had at the Parks.
Unfortunately I've never been to one of the Disney parks. Gasp. I know. It's not right, is it? But my parents just have never been anywhere near as Disney obsessed as I am.

          3. Which Disney Character can you relate too the most? 
Ooooh, a very tricky one. It's really hard because I feel like I can relate to different parts of different characters but I'm going to have to settle on Ariel...no...Pocahontas...Ariel, Pocahontas. Go with Pocahontas before I change my mind. 

4. When was the first time you went to a Disney Park?
See question two. The first time I was supposed to visit a Disney park was this summer but I wasn't allowed. Instead, I hope to visit one next year with a couple of friends.

5. If you could choose any of the characters to be your best friend who would you choose?
Mushu. I've always said that if I get a dog I'd call it Mushu. And a dog is a mans best friend. See my logic? Because I don't.

6. Who are you favorite Disney Princesses? 
Okay, there are so many I could list here but I'm going to try and restrict myself to just two. Firstly, Mulan because she's one of the first female characters I saw to show such strength, courage and determination. And secondly, Ariel because we share the same love/hate relationship with water! 

7. Name a scene/moment in any Disney movie that never fails to make your cry.
Same scene from the first question, lazy answer Kathryn. But it is true. 

8. What is the first Disney Movie you remember seeing?

The first Disney movie I can remember seeing is either Bambi or Alice in Wonderland and to this day they are two of my favourites. 

9. What is your favourite Disney Movie?
So many favourites...I can't possibly choose. Can I do a shortlist but in no particular order? Actually, of course I can - it's my blog!!

1) The Little Mermaid. No explanation needed for this one I don't think. 
2) Lilo and Stitch. The messages in this one are put across so well and I believe you can't fully appreciate the magic of the film until you're a little bit older
3) Mulan. The story behind this one is just fantastic. 
4) Pocahontas. The one with the best soundtrack, definitely 

10. What is your favourite Disney song?

I think the fact that I have an eight-hour playlist on my iPod dedicated to my favourite Disney songs should show you how difficult this is for me so just a few. Circle of Life from The Lion King. Part of Your World and Kiss the Girl from The Little Mermaid (I can remember dancing to both of these on the theatre when I was really little). Steady as the beating drum from Pocahontas but I'm not sure if that one can count. I was just about to finish then but there's more. Two worlds, Strangers Like Me, You'll be in my Heart all from Tarzan. No Way Out from Brother and the Bear. God Help the Outcasts. And the list continues...

11. What is your favourite Disney Duet?
A Whole New World because it was the first thing my Grandad taught me on the piano when I was six. And I don't think he's taught me anything since.

12. What is your Favorite attraction/ride at the parks?
Now you're just trying to torment me, right?

13. Who's the park character you never want to miss meeting at the parks?
Arghhh, the torment. But I imagine it would be Stitch, Mulan or Ariel

14. Favourite Disney sequel movie?
Lilo and Stitch II. Just because Stitch. And awwwhhh. And the music. Well my English skills have gone down the pan.

15. Favourite Disney couple?
Surely I have to say Minnie and Mickey Mouse. Where would any of us be without those two? 

16. Favourite Disney merchandise?
Either the Finding Nemo lanyard that I wear for work or my Disney Mug collection. You'll see that one day, I promise.

17. Favourite Disney Price?
Prince Adam because he's underrated as a prince and always seems to have good intentions really. This reminds me, I've missed a song from ten. No going back now though. 

18. If you could live in any world from a Disney movie, which would you choose?
This is a tricky one but I think I'd like to live in Neverland so that I never have to grow up.

19. Character that you think is very under-rated?
I have two again, sorry. Nani from LILO and Stitch and Blue Fairy from Pinnochio

20. Which Disney movie will always have a special place in your heart and for what reason?
Bambi. For all of the weak ankle, D of E jokes and for being one of tei that never fail to cheer me up when I have a bad day. 

That has been so much fun! Thanks for tagging me Meg! I tag anyone else who wants to do this tag. So leave me a link below if you do it. And if not, post your answer to just one of the questions.

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Saturday 25 July 2015

Adventures abroad: canoeing and camping in Finland

You may or may not already be aware that I'm a big fan of travelling and exploring new places; I love the freedom to discover new things by yourself. It's a shame I'm not the worlds best flyer! But that doesn't matter. I've decided that I'm going to do a couple of new blog post series'. The first one being 'Adventures abroad'.





As a few of you probably know I have been completing my gold Duke of Edinburgh's Award. Having already completed my bronze and silver awards, and completely enjoying them both, I decided that I was up for a new challenge. So I'm sure that many of you will know (or at least have heard of) the award but I'll give you a quick explanation. For the gold award there are five sections: skill, volunteering, physical, residential and expedition. In each section you have to set goals and aims and there are certain criteria you have to stick to. If anyone wants details about my sections, just ask!

The final section for me to complete was my expedition; a four day and three night canoeing expedition camping in the wilderness. But for me it was a little longer and that is what I'm going to talk about today.




On Monday July 6th, I met at college with my group and the staff coming with us at half past midnight and I was already exhausted after a full weekend in work by that point. We had a long (nearly four hour) coach journey down to Gatwick Airport. Now I love airports, just not flying (yes, I'm a walking, talking oxymoron) so I was looking forward to my first visit to a London airport even though I felt a little anxious. After checking in, I treated myself to a cheese and tomato toastie from Costa (can't survive without it, I swear). We then flew out to Helsinki before another long coach journey to our base camp.




The first thing I noticed at base camp was the breathtaking scenery. The lake was absolutely beautiful so we'll have a few pictures below!








After appreciating the location a lot, we put up our hammocks, cooked our evening meal and then, exhausted, we head off to sleep and prepare for our week. It was my first night in a hammock and, after falling out only once (I'm a clumsy numpty), I was pleasantly surprised about how comfortable 
it was and woke up feeling ready for the challenges that awaited. But very little could prepare for the events that followed...



Day one started with a walk, promised to be just ten minutes, that lasted fourty minutes through the local town. The town was much like most English towns except less poundlands and empty buildings. I found a couple of things amusing: the Finnish for 'sale' seemed to be 'ale'; there was an English pub that reminded me nothing of England except for the weather that started on us. By the time we got into our canoes we were wet through and it was throwing it down.


The first morning dragged a little. Morale was low, the weather didn't help and I honestly didn't think I'd manage to complete the week. I was wet underneath my waterproof coat and, when I tried to undo the clips on my bag and buoyancy aid, I found I was shaking and my hands were missing any sense of feeling that they previously had. But at around lunchtime it started to brighten up. Suddenly there was more optimism within our group and the thought of a few more day became more appealing. In total we paddled just over 20km.


When we found our campsite we were quite surprised. There was a children's playground, a lovely area for cooking and eating and plenty of trees for our hammocks. The weather had perked up a little bit and we had a pleasant evening sat around a campfire that we put together.



Day two: We woke up early for the 22km challenge that awaited us. And, probably more importantly to me, it hadn't rained overnight so I had a lovely dry hammock to pack away. We set off at around 9am and had a successful morning of paddling before finding a bird-poo ridden jeti with a half decent view for our lunch. It was quite an eventful break involving melted pans and nearly losing sporks to the lake creating a very light mood. But as we carried on paddling the clouds came over and just as we found our campsite the heavens opened. The campsite was tiny, overgrown and lacking hammock space to the point where people had to bunk with each other. The evening dragged and my motivation to make a meal was zero. In fact, I ended up going to bed at half past six in hope that the rain would stop quicker. 


Day three: we woke bright and early to more rain but started of on our 20km journey anyway, only after a short telling off for setting off a little bit late. The odd bit about this day was that the weather cleared up after a couple of hours and we ended up needing to have a sun cream break. We paddled on and on trying to complete more than 10km in the morning to shorten the afternoon leg but, perhaps as punishment for out urgency, we couldn't find anywhere appropriate to stop for lunch and instead had to eat our lunch from the comfort of our boats between a couple of sheltered islands. After a quick (and very necessary) swap of cabin crews, we continued into the afternoon and finished our day's journey at around 4pm. This campsite was very different to the last. There was a lovely long pier position right into the lake, a small wooden shack on the island with a campfire outside surrounded by damp wooden benches. There were only a few trees scattered around but there was enough for the few who decided that they wanted to sleep in their hammocks. The rest of us mutually decided that we didn't want to sleep in our hammocks (mine was soaking wet by this point) and instead we managed to squeeze nine (5 female, 4 male) into the wooden shack using our tarps as a makeshift door. We stayed up late that night, sat on the pier playing cards watching the sun sort of set. Well it does set, it just doesn't go dark afterwards, at all. Which was strange at first but I was starting to enjoy a lot. 


Day four: We woke on day four, knowing that there was a 26km journey ahead and ready to face it. The weather was glorious on our last day but there were quite a few crossings on our final day that meant we had to paddle on quite a lot of rough water. The whole day was enjoyable and it was lovely to see some of the scenery from the first day in better weather and higher spirits to help us enjoy it properly. At around three thirty we found ourselves at the starting point where we loaded the canoes and our expedition was almost complete. I felt so proud!! We did the walk through the town in reverse this time taking the mandatory stop at McDonalds for a bathroom break (a proper toilet!) even if we did have to pay for it. I was quite appalled at that. Everyone else ordered some variety of junk meal whilst I was more than satisfied with my strawberry and banana smoothie. 

That evening was lovely. We returned to our base camp where I had a lovely swim across the lake and spent a few minutes in the sauna. We cooked our dinner at a much more leisurely pace and chilled out in the sun some more. At around 10pm the owner of the base camp did a presentation about the area before we split back into our two groups to deliver our presentations. We had a group discussion on the expedition itself and our aim (to look at the effects of canoe tourism on the lake and ways we could minimise negative effects). Very interesting I know! Well, I enjoyed it but I appreciate that it's not everyone's cup of tea. Then at around midnight, we finished and spent our last night in our hammocks.



And that's where I'm going to end this blog post; not because that's where my trip ended but because it the next part gets its own post. But first, I had a fantastic opportunity to have an even more fantastic time. Parts of the week were difficult and parts of the week weren't quite as enjoyable as others but it's something I'd do again in a heartbeat. I've found a new hobby that I love and this won't be the end of it at all!! When you think of a holiday I very much doubt you think of hiring a canoe in a foreign country and wild camping, peeing behind bushes, sleeping in hammocks and washing in lakes. To be honest, I understand why it isn't everyone's cup of tea. But it's something that you need to try before you decide you don't enjoy it. I've had a brilliant big adventure and hope to have more in the future. Let me know about your little and big adventures below.

Keep smiling, 
Kathryn x


I feel the need for a disclaimer here though: don't just hire a canoe, think about health and safety a little bit please. For long journeys you need the correct equipment, you need someone with experience to help in an emergency and provide the correct advice but there is plenty of that around if you look carefully or just ask. 

Also, I know posts have been few and far between but that should change over the coming months, and if it doesn't, I'm still here in spirit and replying to comments. I just don't have anything really exciting to share with you yet!




Monday 29 June 2015

What's the worst that can happen?

For a long time I have been scared of doing new things. Sounds a little crazy written down like that but maybe craziness is what helps keep the world spinning around...




When it comes to going out with friends, my parents have always been quite strict I guess. For me, it wasn't just the usual 'be back by ten' or being given the third degree about who I go with/where I go. It was more, 'you're wasting time that you should be spending on school work and training'. And, as much as I understand that they had the best intentions/were probably a bit worried, it has led to sort of a mental intolerance to social activities.




In my head, I feel guilty for wanting to spend time with friends, going out to parties or just having a catch up over coffee because I should be 'spending my time better'. But I've come to realise that there's no better way to spend your time than being happy. Despite this, it's still hard. I have to justify to myself my own reasoning for going if that makes sense? And because I'm not used to it and I know I'm going against my parents wishes, I worry excessively and panic so things don't always go all that well. To most of you, this is probably crazy but it has turned me into someone who fears being in an environment with other people. But this has just become a bigger and bigger issue because it leads to fear in other situations like interviews and meetings. And I realised that I need to do something about these fears before it becomes something that holds me back.




So even though I know that my parents still don't like me going to parties (yes, I am 18) I have tried more recently. And at first I was just worried and didn't enjoy it all that much. But after learning to relax a little more, I have discovered that, among the right people, it can be so much fun and maybe it's a shame that I've wasted too much time being too scared of things going wrong that I haven't let them go right either.




So I've promised myself that from now on I am going to try new things. I may not always enjoy them, but how will I know that I don't if I never try? And what is the worst that can happen? Is it really worth living a life not taking risks when you could find something that you love more than anything?




Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Thursday 25 June 2015

Happy Sad Tears

I finished my exams yesterday. The final one was Decision 2 (a maths module) and I'm quite pleased with how it went but we'll have to wait and see what happens on August 13th.

When I walked out of the exam I felt a huge wave of relief rush over me; everything I'd worked so hard for over the past couple of years had finally ended. But only for a few moments before I felt kind of sad and melancholic.

My college is a sixth form at the secondary school I went to so I've spent the best part of seven years with the same people, in the same buildings and with the same teachers. And, over the past 6-12 months especially, the place has become more of a second home to me. Maybe even a first home. And the people, they became a second family. So I think it's only expected that the thought of leaving is a little bit sad. It's the close of the biggest chapter of my life.

I know that it's not really over, because I'm still going back as work experience and because I'll stay in touch with everyone who is important to me but for now I am still a little bit sad and I think that's acceptable.

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

P.S I'd quite like to know your answers to this: Have any of you ever felt similar to this or had similar experiences?

Monday 22 June 2015

Where have you been?

So it seems that I haven't been around all that much, if at all, for the past couple of months. I'm sure you'll all appreciate that I am just coming the the end of year 13 so have had a lot on my plate juggling exams and the baggage that they bring along, my swimming training, keeping up a job to fund university accommodation fees for next year, and trying my hardest to remain somewhat close to sane. And out of all of those things I think that latter has been and still is the hardest (but that'll be a post for another day I think). I haven't yet finished my exams; I have one more on Wednesday morning but I'm taking a quick break from revision to write this because I've had an exam this morning and any more thinking might just turn my brain to mush. 

Whilst I've been away, I have still been working on ideas for blog posts, as well as various other creativities. I guess it is a shame but I haven't really been in the mindset to let these ideas take shape. A few of you may know that I'm a fan of metaphors so lets call these ideas seeds. Seeds that grow into the trees or plants for your favourite fruit. Now these seeds have been planted and every time a little shoot develops a naughty little fox comes along and eats the top all because I have been so focused on other things that I haven't been protecting the shoots. But these seeds are strong, determined little things and they keep pushing. And, perhaps more importantly, very soon I'm going to have time to protect these little shoots. 

So I hope you appreciate that I haven't just abandoned my blog, I've just had way too much on and for a while had to work out which things in my life were the most important, and which I could put on hold for a while. But be assured, I'm back now. And back with regular(ish) posts as well as hopefully a few new surprises coming up over the coming months.

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Saturday 7 March 2015

Things that make me happy!

I thought it would be quite a nice idea to make a short list of things that I enjoy; things that make me happy when I'm feeling a bit down. And when you're having a bad day (admit it, everyone has them) you can have a look to see if there's something you fancy doing!

Coffee shops - maybe it's the smell that draws me in, or just my love of coffee
Reading - something that I never seem to make enough time for
Salted caramel - not much need to elaborate on this one really
Painting my nails - the more detailed the pattern the better
Cups of tea - usually best when sat with someone else
Running - who says you can't run away from your problems? I wouldn't advice the metaphorical version of running though. It usually comes back to bite you on the bottom
Colouring - a brand new love of mine; find a 24 pack of crayons and a very detailed 'adult' colouring book and you'll be relaxed in no time at all
Cheesecake - now I really despise cake, but cheesecake can pretty much solve anything. Well not everything, but you can't fight your battles hungry can you? 
Puzzles - I just like to keep my brain busy all of the time and felt like I couldn't write maths on this list
Swimming - similar idea to running really, and you always perform better when you're 100% annoyed at the world 
Sketch books - drawing is another hobby of mine. It's sometimes nice if you can put your thoughts and feelings into something abstract. Something that only you know the meaning of
Working with children - they never fail to make me smile

What's on your list? 

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Tuesday 24 February 2015

Starting over

New year doesn't have to be the only time of year when you decide that you need to make a change. That's why I'm not a fan of New Year's resolutions and all of that rubbish. If there's something you're not happy with you want to change it now! You don't need to wait until January the 1st to make that change. 

So we're coming towards the end of February now, and for me, this is the time for changes to be made. Some of these have already started but one thing I can promise is that this isn't a 'New Me' sort of thing. I'm just learning to deal with a few things in my life that I certainly wasn't mentally or physically well enough to deal with earlier this year. I'm not going to lie and pretend it'll be all smooth-running and easy. Because it won't be. I've tried before and conditions just weren't right for this to happen. But now, with a bit more motivation and a great support system for help, I'm confident that it is the right time!

So I guess that my message to you is that if there's something in your life that you want to change, it's not too late to do it! And it is never too late to start over. Although sometimes it may be a little early, you'll never know if you don't try!

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x

Monday 23 February 2015

Seventeen things I learnt while I was 17

So it's pretty close to my birthday now and I've been spending a little bit of time thinking about the things I've done and learnt over the past year. It's quite scary that I'm going to be eighteen in just a couple of days - an adult! But nothing will change really. I'm still me and I'm not going to suddenly mature or become and less crazy. I just thought it would be a good idea to write about what I've learnt from my mistakes so that you don't make them too!

1. It doesn't matter how long you spend apart, your true friends will make it seem like you've always been together

2. Sometimes being selfish isn't really a bad thing. At times you need to take a break; have a rest and take some time for yourself.

3. When it seems that everything around you is changing it doesn't mean that you have to too. It's okay to hold on to who you are now for a bit longer because there'll be something else that isn't changing 

4. You are allowed to say no. I often take on too much and I know that this will never change; especially not overnight. I love helping other people and take on huge numbers of tasks to do this but saying no doesn't make you a bad person

5. You're an average of the five people you spend the most time with. I'm mostly happy with mine, are you? 

6. I'm an INFJ, the rarest personality type apparently. But reading up on it explains a lot.

7. I really, really love maths. But not odd numbers, and 7 is an odd number. Obviously I already knew that 7 is an odd number. Okay, shut up Kathryn.

8. There's always someone in the world in worse circumstances than you. But that does not belittle your problems or make them unimportant. There might be over 7billion people in the world, but you are a very important one of them

9. The average high school kid nowadays has the same level of anxiety as a psychiatric patient from the 1950s. Now you try and tell me that mental illness is all made up, or the sufferer is to blame!

10. When people ask you difficult questions be honest. They wouldn't have asked if they didn't care or want to know the answer.

11. Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. Obviously a useful one for a pub quiz. But who are we to tell the aliens on Venus that their planet spins the wrong way. Or their clocks do.

12. You can be a completely different person when you're with different people. That doesn't make you fake or a pretender, different people just bring out your different characteristics and the different sides to your personality.

13. You can't cry in space because there's no gravity so doing it here is okay. Blame gravity.

14. Colouring is quite honestly one of the most relaxing things I've ever done

15. Don't worry about letting other people down, because if you do you'll just let yourself down

16. Asking for help isn't admitting weakness; it shows true strength that you're willing to admit that you are struggling and to look for assistance 

17. There is always hope, even when you think you've hit rock bottom. You know that the only way is up and things will get better and it doesn't matter how good yesterday was, today can be better! That's how I know that the next twelve months will bring me both awful times and fantastic ones. But I'll fight my way through the tough times just to be able to  reach the good ones!

Keep sming,
Kathryn x





Sunday 15 February 2015

Back around...

So here I am! I know I've been absent for a short while so I'm sorry everyone. I've had a lot going in my life and many things to deal with and juggling it all with two/three jobs, college work, being in and volunteering for a swimming club etc has been a little bit difficult. Never mind finding time to remain sane too! But that's all getting worked on now so all's good. A work in progress and all of that. But that leaves me in a muddle, I am back around and will be posting from time to time but I make no promises about how much because, quite simply, I can't.

But I'm not the only thing that's back around...
At the moment there are people in my life that I never thought would end up back in my life. And I am so thrilled that some of them are. But some of them it would be if they'd remained out of it. In the nicest way possible, obviously. They bring back awful memories, and others still treating me the way they did when I pushed them away so maybe keeping that sort of person at arms length is the best way forward.

And what else is back around? My life. I've literally come full circle, back to the place I was in this time last year. At first I thought that was an awful thing, but it doesn't have to be. I have a second opportunity to fix the things I didn't last year and I really am thankful for the opportunity to do just that. I know it's going to be hard, but hopefully with all of the help I'm getting I won't be going full circle back to the start again. I guess it's true what they say; what goes around does come back around.

Keep smiling,
Kathryn x